Positive affirmations are a great way to teach our kids to believe in themselves and to instill self-confidence in their abilities. Short positive statements such as “I am good at math” or “I am a great reader” can really boost a child’s self-esteem. How often, however, do we undermine these positive statements in unintentional, but powerful ways? How often do we tell our children something with our actions that don’t match our words?


Children´s Yoga Teacher Trainig
http://www.theyogakids.com/yoga-training/

I have a confession to make. I am a recovering enabler. I love my children so much, that I want to show them in every way possible. When they were little, I showed them by cutting up their food and helping them get dressed. When they got a little older, I showed them by clearing their plates at the dinner table and cleaning up their toys at night. Even now, when I know they are entirely capable of washing the dishes and filling the dishwasher, I often do it for them.
I have enabled my children to do nothing for themselves. I have allowed them to not learn the basic skills of life, because I wanted to make it easy for them. Because, I loved them. However, I recently learned a valuable lesson in all of this. When I was “loving” my children, what I was really telling them (at least, what they were hearing) was that I didn’t trust them to do it for themselves. Instead of hearing, “I love you,” they heard “You can’t do it” or “I can do it better, so I’ll just do it for you.”
Wow. That was a wake-up call. My actions completely undermined my words. If I tell my kids that they can dust the living room, but then I go after them and touch it up, I am showing them that I don’t believe my own words. If I tell them that they are good at emptying the dishwasher, but then I hover and make sure it’s done just right, my actions destroy my words.
I am, little by little, learning to let go of the need to do everything for my kids. I am learning to pass more jobs to them and to step back, completely out of the way. I heard a lot of “I can’t” and “It’s too hard” at first. But, my kids are learning too. Little by little, they are realizing that they can do it.


Children´s Yoga Teacher Trainig
http://www.theyogakids.com/yoga-training/

One of the best moments for me, as a mother, came when my son asked if he could have French toast for breakfast, and I told him, only if he made it. Instead of complaining, he grabbed the pan and got to work. The smile on his face when he finished making his own French toast for the first time was a beautiful thing. I won’t deprive my children of that joy, anymore.
How about you? Are you affirming your kids with your words and your actions? If so, congratulations! If not, take heart. It’s never too late to release the reigns and let your child learn what it really means to be self-confident.